“Another person can never prevent our loneliness”
One of the things that these last months of self-quarantine has forced us to be alone! For many, this is a new experience. All the noise, clutter, business that we fill our lives with were gone; we were forced to be alone!
And being alone and loneliness are two very different experiences. Being alone can be pleasant, refreshing and renewing. Stillness and quiet are where peace may dwell in our lives.
But loneliness is something very different. Loneliness is the deep emptiness we feel within. As is often said in the recovery community, it is the hole in our soul. It is not being around other people. We can be surrounded by people and still be lonely.
Loneliness is the experience of disconnectedness; not belonging, feeling different, being alienated. Loneliness is self-loathing, and nothing external can heal this hole in our soul.
To begin to heal, we need to first know we are sick, and in our world, we live in a sea of lonely people who chase after lies; that lie that having everything and every need I want fulfilled will fill me. Or the lie that I am the victim of life; society, everybody is after me. My anger will fill me or even “if they knew the real me, they wouldn’t love me!” This self-loathing and victimization which is really narcissism only feeds the hole in my soul.
To begin to confront and vanquish loneliness in your life, first believe deep in your soul that you are loved. The very fact that you are alive means you share in the very life of God, and God is love and you are in God’s love.
Also embrace an attitude of gratitude. Be grateful for everything in your life; your blessings, your challenges, your successes, your failures. See God’s grace in every moment of life.
I would suggest that you consider doing what I do. Every night before you go to sleep, pray a litany of thanksgiving, naming those things that happened that day and offer for each of them a prayer of thanksgiving. In other words:
EMBRACE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE!